I seem to be in a place lately where I am really thinking about the effect others’ words have on our decisions and convictions. I have watched too many people in my life bow out of circumstances at the whim of other people and their opinions. To say it is aggravating would be an understatement, but the best understatement I can come up with this late at night. Being a person who puts her whole heart into everything I do and into every person I care about, I have a hard time understanding the concept of being so drastically swayed by the simple remarks of another. I make it a habit to try to be uncomfortably honest with myself, which assures me that my convictions come from deep within me… from the heart of God in me… and not an eclectic version of surrounding opinions.
It is disappointing to receive the swift rebuff of a person who merely reacts to the opinions of others… and unfortunately, this is a cause for the demise of many friendships. I was thinking tonight that if I were swayed by every remark someone made, my life would be a circus act—jumping through endless hoops and juggling with the fire of insecurity—desperate for the applause of some audience that is only there for a show, and not for me personally, anyway. That is a performance I hope to never take part in… and yet I watch people I care about signing up for the lead roles. Desperate for fulfillment, they charge through the hoops and juggle fire, they take their bows in longing for the acceptance of a deceiving audience… They get lost in the spotlight and set up camp on a stage of shifting emotion, never to return. And ones like me can do nothing but watch them painfully from offstage…
Friday, September 15, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
the power of one choice
When I found Israel, it was like finding grapes in the desert; when I saw your fathers, it was like seeing the early fruit on the fig tree. But when they came to Baal Peor, they consecrated themselves to that shameful idol and became as vile as the thing they loved. –Hosea 9:10
I stumbled upon this verse just over a year ago in the aftermath of a wave of destruction in my life. It really made me think about the power our choices have on the rest of our lives. As my eyes were being unveiled to the nature of deceit and manipulation I had fallen prey to, I was startled to realize that it all began with one choice. That’s all. It took one decision against my better judgment, and in the time frame of one year, my life was nearly destroyed. My sensitivity to the Holy Spirit had dwindled and my passion for ministry was barely visible through the fog of self-betrayal.
It pains me to think about what that one choice did to the heart of God… I imagine it was something like what we read in the above verse. I think God was full of grief to see the children of Israel—whom he had set apart, who were such a source of refreshment to his heart—take on the very nature of the thing they chased after. “Vile.” What a dramatic change from being an image of the glory of God, the one(s) to reveal Him to the nations.
And yet, in the messes we make, there is grace.
Like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be recovered, so we must die. But God does not take away life; instead, he devises ways so that a banished person may not remain estranged from him. –2 Samuel 14:14
It really is that simple. It is a beautiful thing to step into an understanding of the incredible mercy that flows from the heart of God… He always seeks to restore us back to Himself.
I stumbled upon this verse just over a year ago in the aftermath of a wave of destruction in my life. It really made me think about the power our choices have on the rest of our lives. As my eyes were being unveiled to the nature of deceit and manipulation I had fallen prey to, I was startled to realize that it all began with one choice. That’s all. It took one decision against my better judgment, and in the time frame of one year, my life was nearly destroyed. My sensitivity to the Holy Spirit had dwindled and my passion for ministry was barely visible through the fog of self-betrayal.
It pains me to think about what that one choice did to the heart of God… I imagine it was something like what we read in the above verse. I think God was full of grief to see the children of Israel—whom he had set apart, who were such a source of refreshment to his heart—take on the very nature of the thing they chased after. “Vile.” What a dramatic change from being an image of the glory of God, the one(s) to reveal Him to the nations.
And yet, in the messes we make, there is grace.
Like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be recovered, so we must die. But God does not take away life; instead, he devises ways so that a banished person may not remain estranged from him. –2 Samuel 14:14
It really is that simple. It is a beautiful thing to step into an understanding of the incredible mercy that flows from the heart of God… He always seeks to restore us back to Himself.
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